Bliss of Life

Since Ben has been away, I thought it would be good to show him what we do on a typical day. Here are some pictures of the Bean after our early afternoon nap. I don’t usually nap with her, but on this day, she wouldn’t stay asleep if I wasn’t with her.

She wakes up full of smiles.

I had to put her in the Boppy bouncer while I took a shower.

She didn’t seem to mind.

This looks says, Hey Mamma, don’t you need to put the camera down and take a shower!

So I strapped her in, which I didn’t have to do until this week, because she is awfully wiggly these days, and I gave her Senor Elephante to nom on.

After my shower, it was diaper-changing time. I LOVE this picture because captures the expression she has on her face every single time she sees the mobile above her changing table. Ben and I call it the O-Hai face (pronounced Oh, hi, but with an a sound added).

She realized she could nom on her onsie.

Even when nomming, she is just unbelievably cute!

Then it was wiggle time.

She has now discovered her feet. Look at that clasp! This yoga mamma is so proud.

Then she hung out in her Baby Bjorn bouncer and worked on her bear-spinning skills while I ate lunch.

All that wiggling, nomming, and bear spinning wore her out, or maybe, it was just time for her late afternoon nap.

Ben comes home tomorrow.  I wish I could say that this week went by just as well the last week, but no.  It so did not go as well, not even nearly as well.  Our incredibly predictable and easy-going baby had some unpredictable sleep behaviors.  By Wednesday I was so sleep deprived that my head hurt and all I needed was a moment of stillness to cry about how tired I was.  I survived it, so did the Bean.  It’s almost over, at least until next week when Ben will be gone for three days.

All I have to say is single mothers don’t have four pets (unless they are masochists.)

Last week she made a sound that was sort of like the first part of a giggle. She was on the changing table and we were playing a little game with the mobile that hangs above it. She did it a couple times, and then she stopped. Today, she did it again, but this time it was more like Haha kind of laugh. She was in my lap and I was bouncing her to the rhythm of a song I was humming. She did it a few times and then she was done.

Now she is sleeping so soundly, tuckered out from laughing. Ben is gone, again. He’ll be back on Friday, and hopefully, she’ll share a laugh with him before his next trip.

It is the third day that Ben has been out of town.  I am beat.  Beat. I managed to take some pictures of Lily today in her new Bumbo chair that Sufyan passed on to her, but I don’t have the energy to figure out how to load them.  Ben will have to do that Friday when he gets back.

I’m heading over to Ravyn’s again tomorrow for much needed adult conversation.  I spend most of my time talking in motherease to Lily, it’s nice to have a conversation with someone that doesn’t involve high-pitched, drawn-out words.

Lily is 3 months old today. Wow! Hopefully, I’ll have a picture to post tomorrow. Today just got away from me. Ben is out of town until the end of the week, so I’ve been pulling double duty.

This morning I woke up to two blinking alarm clocks, no internet service, a sopping wet counter top and stove–the result of a leaky roof–and a poop streak on the floor of Lily’s playroom. Meester Kitty had a personal problem early in the night because the poop streak was dehydrated by the time I tried to clean it (yeah) and the roof leaked from the storm that passed through.

Lily woke up tired and was ready to get back sleep right about the time I was eating my eggs, so breakfast was short and incomplete. But it was more than what Dexter had, which was nothing. Not a kibble or a treat. Poor guy. She was sleeping like a champ, so I put her down to take a shower. We must have gotten our signals crossed because to her, putting her down seemed to give her the impression that it was time to wake up.

After my shower, we were off to a play date at Ravyn’s house (about 15 minutes later than scheduled), where we got to meet the adorable Sufyan. Lily, like myself, was taken by Sufyan. She watched him reach for toys with accuracy she aspires to have one day soon. She was full of smiles and coos. And as a bonus, we met Jenna and her little guy Lucas, Ravyn’s neighbors.

After leaving Ravyn’s, I stopped by a friend’s house to eat a late lunch. Lily fell asleep (for the fourth time that day) on Sat Nam’s shoulder while I inhaled a delicious meal of lentils and salad. We got home around 2:30. Lily ate and slept for two and half hours, during which time I could have put away clothes, cleaned the kitchen, straighten the house, practiced yoga–all good options. But instead, I chose to sit on the couch watching Charmed, while eating peanut butter straight out of the jar.

The rest of the day was a blur. There was a trip to the credit union to get cash, a dinner pie that was delicious and a bath with Lily. Right now, I’m sitting in the rocking chair watching my blind schnauzer pace across the house and bump into the bouncer that is sitting in the middle of the living room floor with every lap.  Every lap! I know I should move it, but I am exhausted. I have no room for anything else.

Happy 3 month birthday Lily.

• I do not wash my hands before touching my baby, unless I just got through cleaning the litter box.
• I have not read a single baby parenting book cover to cover. When I was a few weeks pregnant a friend gave me The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. I like what I read, but since it’s about five hundred pages, I use it as a reference book (or at least I plan to, if I should need it.)
• I often misspeak and say that I have a good baby, which sounds awful because how in the world could a baby be bad? I correct myself and say that I have a really easy baby, which makes her sound like an exam or a quiz. What I mean to say is that my baby is content most of the time.
• My baby is a good sleeper. She usually sleeps five to seven hours at a stretch before her first feeding of the night, and she likes to sleep in late. That being said, I should feel well rested, but I don’t. Breast feeding is physically draining and so is staying up late just to enjoy the feeling of having both hands free.
• I don’t like having my baby passed around.
• I take what the pediatrician says with a grain of salt.
• The four-legged members of the family have become pets, just pets. (I said that would never happen, if I have a baby.)
• I am uncomfortable leaving Lily, even with Ben, for any length of time.
• The first time I did leave Lily with Ben, I kept saying, “She and Her” as if she was with me. It confused the person on the other end of the conversation.
• I have only made dinner once since Lily was born, which was today. It required such strategic timing that I felt like tying on a cape and putting an S on my chest.
• My brain is spacey. Most days, I’m impressed that I can finish a sentence.
• I secretly long to be back in school, forcing myself to think in abstract ways.
• I also secretly want to have another baby.

We took a trip to Ohio last week to see Ben’s mother’s side of the family.  Her relatives held a service for her and afterward, we buried Ben’s mother’s ashes next to her parents.  Like all the other life changing events I’ve experienced recently, the trip was beautiful and wonderful and difficult and painful.

I was touched by how his family opened their hearts to me and my daughter.  She is a little piece of Alice that lives on, and there I times when I am with her that I truly feel Alice’s presence with us.  I am so glad that I was able to share my baby with her family.  In some ways, it was hard to leave Ohio.  But traveling with and infant is challenging, especially when there are scheduled events.  Babies like to make their own schedules.  And judging by the way Lily looked around the room and smiled when I put her in our bed last night, she was ready to be home.

Above is a picture I took of Lily in her “pooping bouncer” after we got home last night.